Tuesday, November 15, 2011

This and that and now...

Time flies when you are having fun...and unfortunately that has caused me to neglect my blog... Any spare time I have had has been spent spending time with my family. When I actually get a moment of me time, I don't want to spend it thinking or writing ;)

Working at a public school has been fascinating.  I love to watch the children interact with each other. I wonder on a daily basis what my children will act like around their peers, if they will remember their manners around adults and follow the rules.
As a lunch lady, I think I see some of them at their rowdiest, full of energy, hungry and ready for recess. The rainy days are the worst! hehe
I watch some of these kids and wonder what their stories are, whether my smile and hello will be the only one they get that day, if they had to get themselves ready that morning and if the food we prepared is the best meal they get on that day. There are some days that I go home tired from the hard work, but I try to remember that what I am doing is making a difference, I am helping feed our future...haha

Update: I finally took the plunge, I am officially enrolled in college, waiting to register for my classes. I am going to start be getting my Associates of Arts in Teaching  PreK-4th grade, and see where that leads me. I'm nervous and excited about starting school. I am ready for the challenge but scared of the stress it will put on me and my family. Time, it is all about making time for everything and everyone... something I struggle with on a daily basis. So here goes!

My husband D has been busy working a lot, but every moment he has free has been dedicated to his family. We have had so much fun lately, playing with the kids and watching them start to play together. He has been teaching our son how to bat and throw a baseball, in the house might I add ugh! He really is the most amazing father. Watching him with them makes me smile, makes me feel safe knowing that everything would be OK if anything ever happened to me. What a great feeling, that knowledge.

My kiddos are growing up faster and faster everyday. They are a whirlwind of learning and playing and my house is proof of it! I simply can not keep up. LBug recently turned 1yr old, already running, yes I said running, jumping and saying new words. Today she said "ball" and I about cried on the spot, I was so proud. GDawg is almost 3, only five more short months left of the terrible twos ;) He is blowing me away with each new thing he does. Lately he spells out every word he comes across, naming each letter and asking me "What's that spell Mommy?" Today I walked in on him drawing and asked him what he was doing, he informed me that he was drawing letters. Sure enough, I look and there is an upper case "E", an "O" and he showed me how to draw the letter "C". He can count and is right around the corner from reading, now to get him to commit to potty training!
I am immensely proud of my children, something that I hope they always know. I plan on making sure I tell them as much as possible.

That was probably a lot to read, there is so much more to tell, I will try to break it up in more recent posts from now on!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Run Momma Run!

Life is truly going right, I am one Perfectly Blessed Content Busy Momma!

 I am really enjoying my new job, it has done me a world of good just to get out and away from my kiddos for half a day. By the time I pick them up, they have had naps and are ready to play (nice) and mommy has had some adult time.
I have taken up a new hobby also. I had a few girlfriends motivate me to start running, something I never thought I could actually do. I remember trying to run the mile in Jr. High School and getting made fun of for crying because I didn't have the lung capacity to make it to the end. Now I crave running! A friend and I ran a 5k last weekend, my first time ever attempting anything resembling running...and I am definitely hooked!
 I had set a goal and surprised myself by beating the time I had envisioned. I have another chance to beat that time this coming weekend. The weather has finally cooled down, this time for good I believe. Perfect running weather.

"I run because it's so symbolic of life. You have to drive yourself to overcome the obstacles. You might feel that you can't. But then you find your inner strength, and realize you're capable of so much more than you thought."
--Arthur Blank

 As soon as the kids go to bed and D comes in from working in the shop, I am hitting the pavement! I love that I don't have to share this one thing, This one thing that makes me feel so good is all mine, something I can be alone with my thoughts or not even think at all. I don't even get to go to the bathroom by myself! I am a slightly competitive person so beating my own times is what pushes me to be better. Also the thought of helping a good cause gives me a sense of satisfaction, just knowing that I gave my all for it. So wish me luck and if you are wanting to help a good cause, join me in my quest!

 5K Fun Run and Walk
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Cotter Springs, AR
Race Start: 8:00 am
$15 pre-registered or $20 day of race
18 & Under:
$10 pre-registered or $15 day of race
• Make checks payable to COTTER HIGH SCHOOL
• Mail entry form & check to:
COTTER, AR 72626
• Registration on day of race: 7:30 am-7:50 am
• Race starts at 8:00 am
• Awards for all divisions

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

This To Shall Pass, Right?

Since I have gone back to work, I find myself looking forward to it daily. Both of my children are going through a Terrible Phase : Terrible 2's and Terrible Teething. Don't get me wrong, I love my children and cherish every moment but lately the sweet moments have been fewer than the Terrible ones.

I always heard that having them close together would be hard in the beginning but wonderful as they get older, I am ready for the wonderful part. Of course I do not want my children to grow up in a hurry, just ready for them to get along and to be able to take them out in public without the stress. My 2 year old seems to be unable to listen to instruction, unable to potty train and unable to go an hour without a complete breakdown or tantrum. It makes me sad that others do not get to see how amazingly smart and fun he is the rest of the time. I am very proud of him and love him angry or not, but oh am I ready for this to pass!

My daughter is on the short path to one year old (already!) and instigates most of the breakdowns mentioned above. She is learning and exploring so much that she cant stand to be left out of anything, including whatever brother is intently concentrating on at the moment. Currently she is cutting a 5th tooth in which I keep trying to tell myself is the cause of her temper. As cute as it is that she smiles and says "yeah" afterwards, her little temper will be less cute at 2 years of age...

I just keep telling myself that God didn't give me anything I cant handle and of course This to shall Pass...

Monday, August 22, 2011

May the Positive Force Be With You!

It seems like I am always on the path to one self improvement or another. My life could probably be categorized under the "Self Help" section of the Library... hehe

At least I'm trying, right?

My new goal is to be more positive everyday.

You are probably saying to yourself "What? You are one of the most positive people I know!"  Well I am, by default. I try to portray self confidence and positiveness as much as possible but have come to realize that I adapt very well to my surroundings. I pick up on other's energy and make it my own. I have a need to be liked by all and at 26 years old I am finally able to admit that I am a follower. I can try to change, to not care what other's think, to be my own person, but all in all I am who I am. So since I can't control most of all of that, it's time to take charge of what I can. I'm starting with surrounding myself with the positive energy I want to emit from myself. That means eliminating the negative. I want to be happy and spread happiness where ever I go. I owe this not only to myself, but to my family, coworkers and friends. If I expect those around me to be positive and joyful, I need to be the example they need. I truly hope that my children can pick up on this and carry it through their lives.
So, my current goals are as follows: Be and stay more positive, conquer my weight loss goal, train my body to withstand running, strive to be a better person, enjoy life and be thankful for every moment and to continue on my "Self Help Journey."
I Will Be Better. 

Thursday, August 11, 2011

A Very Merry UnBirthday to All!

Today is a special day at our house, we are having an UnBirthday Party this evening!

My 2 1/2 yr old son is quite the character, coming up with new ideas and thoughts and words everyday. Since June 13th, which was his Aunt's birthday,  he has been running up to us saying      
" Happy Birthday Daddy" or "Happy Birthday Nana" (Momma, Ninny, Papa, Lela, oranges etc).
 We have come to the conclusion that this is his way of saying he loves you and is super happy to see you. It really is the sweetest thing to hear when you walk in the door, he warms every one's heart.
So we all decided to give back the good feeling and we are throwing a party to celebrate nothing and everything. I am baking a cake, we are putting up decorations and singing the happy birthday song until he decides he doesn't want to anymore. Yay, Cake!
So if you are feeling in the need for a Birthday, come on over tonight and have some fun with us!

Friday, July 29, 2011

A New Chapter in My Life

Yes, another change is in the air! No, I am not pregnant again!

I have loved every moment of being a stay at home mom, OK that is a lie, I have loved almost every moment...but there was an opportunity for the best of both worlds, a part time job, and I took it!
I am now officially a "Food Tech" at the school that my children will be going to in the future. Just a fancy term for lunch lady I know, but I am so excited about it!

My hours are amazing, I am getting out of the house everyday, time away from my little monsters, holidays and summers off, and I still get to be Mom first. I think this is what I have been looking for.
 I'm excited to get to know the women i will be working with, to swap coupons and baby stories with and to have a little life outside of our home. Also it is good for my husband, taking some of the pressure to make the bills off his shoulders and for my children to socialize and learn new things at Daycare.

All this and I still have every afternoon and weekends to spend with my family! So here is to my new adventure!

"The Adams Family Values"

I have been so preoccupied lately! As a mother this is pretty much a constant state of being anyway, but I have taken it to a whole new level for me. Let me explain a little something about myself before I go on. If you haven't figured this out already, I will just put it right out there: I am an obsessive person. I have always been this way. Growing up, when a new band would strike my fancy or a show interested me, I would listen/watch it until I wore it out. I am sort of like that with people also, I get excited when I meet someone new that I fall in love with instantly and want to spend more time with them. Of course life is too busy for those kind of friendships anymore. Somehow D escaped the use and throw out part of my obsessiveness, maybe because he pursued me and stuck that ring on my finger before I could change my mind. Or maybe it is just that he is so completely amazing and perfect for me...

To get back to my point, I am on the trail of a new obsession, (thanks to my BFF, who started this whole thing)  one that keeps me challenged and takes up most of my thoughts: Ancestry. My favorite aunt, I mean that, I have always looked up to her, and I have decided to find the source of the craziness in our family (I say that affectionately of course) and have thrown ourselves into filling in our family tree. This has not been such an easy task as there are several unanswered questions and overused first names. That is the fun of the hunt though, the challenge. I find myself laying in bed at night, (when I finally tear myself away) thinking up the next words I will plug into my favorite search engine. Everyday I say to myself, "This is gonna be the day that I hit the jackpot, the day all the pieces will fit together." While searching I have come across a lot of interesting facts and stories, most of them not even related to my ancestors but amazing nonetheless. I have really enjoyed reading through other peoples lives.

 A man I respect more than any other person in my life, my GPA wrote this and I loved it so much I thought I should share it:

"I know that knowing a lot about our family is important, and we all have this curiosity about "where we came from". On the other hand,  Perhaps time spent on where I'm going, what I can accomplish for the  good of others, and how I might leave a legacy for mankind might be possibly more important. and of course, this comment is not intended to imply that your search is silly or a waste of time." I am going to think these words each morning when I wake up, what wise man he is!

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Its too Hot to Play Outside

I just had a vision of myself as an old lady...

I am obsessed with buttons. All shapes, sizes, and colors.
I don't really use them for anything, except for the occasional scrapbooking project (which I can never find or make the time to do).

One Saturday, as a family, we drove around checking out garage sales and local craft sales. At the retirement home, they were having a big inside sale that had air conditioning calling to us to stop in and cool off. Not expecting to find anything that we couldn't live without we just enjoyed walking around.
Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I see colors, little round objects in baby food jars,  lots of pretty colors! I was drawn to them like a child is to candy.
The first table I came to had two little old ladies selling various craft supplies along with several baby food jars full of buttons. Each jar had been organized by color, some with a mix of pastels others with an assortment of brights. The one I couldn't live without had yellows mixed with oranges, dazzling before my eyes! I handed over four quarters for one and  six quarters for a bigger jar full of muted colors.  I decided two jars better be my limit. 

  Have you seen how much a jar of buttons can go for in some antique stores? I once ran across a big mason jar for $40! Can you imagine spending that much money on buttons? My obsession doesn't even go that far...So thinking I had hit the jackpot, I thanked the women and walked around some more. At the other end of the room there was a whole table dedicated to buttons, several matching sets sewn nicely to cardboard strips and arranged by size and color. Beautiful buttons for only $.50 a strip! I ended up walking away with a few different colors making my grand total to $5.00 just in buttons.
The date on the lid is Dec of 1987.

Obsession satisfied.

So on this hot Saturday morning while the boys are out in the shop and the baby is sleeping, I am sorting through my buttons. Examining each one and dividing them up in a rainbow of colors. It may sound silly but it truly is relaxing. As a little old lady I will be selling these very buttons and the many more I collect over the years, in baby food jars at the local craft sale.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I got the FUNK

Vacation ruined me...

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed every moment of it; but now that I'm home, I am finding it hard to get back into my routine.
 I worked so hard to develop good habits: cleaning the kitchen before bed every night, walking every night, losing the baby weight, getting up early in the mornings, and keeping up on chores each day...
 I feel like I have taken 100 steps backwards. I look around the house and feel so discouraged at all the things that need to be done. The kitchen has one wall of wallpaper stripped, a project I have yet to finish. I don't feel like I can start that until I have finished my everyday chores first. Laundry has piled up on my once again and our bedroom is in desperate need of organization.
These are just a few of the things that need to be taken care of in my life this moment, and yet I sit here griping to you about it.
 Every morning I say "Today I get back on track", and every morning I wake up too tired or with another excuse.
Where did Ambition go??
That is my rant for today, I will try to be my normal  positive self again soon...

Thursday, July 7, 2011

I'm back!

A normal day at last! We took a 10 day vacation visiting family and friends up north, traveling a total of 2004 miles. We had an amazing time but were all thankful to be home and in our own beds. Yesterday was a stressful day, waking up to our refrigerator going out, having to juggle cleaning up all the leakage from the meat in the freezer and keeping the kids away from it, not getting any of the things needed to be done the first day back from vacation... Making us want to just go back on vacation! So let's go back and recap...

We started our journey at 4 a.m, after an almost sleepless night taking care of children, on the very long car ride to Detroit, MI to visit with my sister and her family. We finally made it there around 10 p.m exhausted and relieved to be there. We jam packed a lot of fun into the 2 days we had together, playing at the park, getting haircuts, water balloon fights, BBQ, game nights, Slurpees, and lots of picture taking! Besides the kids not getting along, it was an awesome experience! It was amazing to find out just how alike my sister and I are, even though we grew up in completely different worlds. Her in the city, not knowing that I existed and Me in the country not finding out about her until 2009. I loved getting to know her family, she has an amazing husband that takes care of her and two beautiful children that I hugged and kissed every chance I got. My sister is an an extraordinary woman and I love her like I have known her my whole life.  

We have so much in common it's scary! Spending time with her made me really miss all the years I didn't have a sister, making me feel cheated that I was able to experience all the things we tried to pack in those two days. I miss her already and am really thankful that at least we have the technology to keep in touch over the distance. We left there sad but excited for our next stop, IL to visit friends.

It was so great to see my Best Friend, we always feel at home at their house. We had a day to rest the first day there and the second day we visited my Aunt and Cousins. It was great to spend time with them and to see the home I spent so many summers at when I was young. After that we watched movies, ate great food, played at the park, took the kids to blackberry farm, had a couple bonfires, BBQ, six flags, the boys went to the drag races, and we all spent some quality time together. There were a lot of fun times, all told through the many pictures taken! My favorite part of all? Watching our friends treat our children like they were their own. I love that more than I can express.
I miss everyone already but am glad to be back in our daily routine. Hopefully I can get some chores caught up today...

Monday, June 20, 2011

Good Day Sunshine

Life is good.
I have been in wonderful state of contentment lately. Changing my routine and getting up in the mornings before everyone else for some "me time" has made me a new woman! I have always heard that all mother's, especially SAHM's should get up early and start their day this way but I always bulked at the "getting up early" part.
My normal Day would have gone like this: G getting out of bed, poking his baby sister L, Baby L screaming, me groaning and rolling out of bed, scolding my son for poking his sister while picking her up out of crib, soothing her, changing her diaper while G (2yrs old and said big brother) whines for "more cheerios too" and "more milk too, more yogurt too", L (7 month little sister) crying for her bottle, and me trying to change, feed and calm two children at the same time. All this before my much needed cup of coffee. Then I get on the computer, drinking my coffee, turn a cartoon on for G and try to wake up saying repeatedly "Not Until Mommy Has Her Coffee!"
Before I know it half the day is gone, looking at the clock I see that my Hubby will soon be home for lunch and I run around brushing teeth, getting dressed (maybe) and straightening up so it looks like I accomplished something...
The new me is much more on top of things, I do all that before the kiddos wake up and sometimes even go for a morning walk and shower! What a concept! It is truly amazing what a difference it makes in my day, how it makes me feel good, what a better Mom it makes me! It gives me Peace!
Another Fun Fact: Pureeing is Fun!
I borrowed my momma's food processor and have been sneaking spinach and carrots into meals to make them healthier.
Speaking of healthier, if you could see me right now, you would see a healthier leaner me! I have been walking/running almost every evening 3 miles at a time. My sis in law is a great motivator! I have a few more lbs to lose to get to my pre-baby weight and wanting to shed a few more after that. Toning and eating better has made me feel great. I have even been saving up calories for the nights I drink a couple glasses of wine ;) We had to stop sending G to daycare because of budget issues (or in English, we are broke) and I have been trying to make sure I provide him with everything he is missing out on. Which means working on arranging play dates, more arts and crafts and learning new songs. So far he hasn't seemed disappointed so hopefully I am doing something right! On that note, breakfast is over so it is time to devote my time to these two precious monsters. Have a wonderful thankful day!

Monday, June 13, 2011

There's a rain cloud above my head...

Goodness I am one Cranky Mommy today!

 I'm not sure what started it, I am pretty sure I woke up on the right side of the bed this morning...
 L woke up a little cranky but I don't blame her, she had a diaper full and she has 2 teeth fighting to break through. So I was understanding with her. G woke up really happy and we started the morning with watching The Land Before Time to learn about Dinosaurs.
My coffee was wonderful, I made smoothies and I talked to my sister. Somewhere in between that and Daddy coming home from work for lunch, everything changed along with all of our moods...
I spent most of the day fighting with the kids and then trying to rest when they napped that I didn't get much accomplished around the house, leaving me feeling even more inadequate for the role of SAHM.
I definitely didn't get entered in for the Best Mom of the Year award today.
Here's to hoping for a better tomorrow!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Time is Flying By

Everyone told me that my second child would grow up even faster than my first...
Now I believe them!

My two year old seems to be saying bigger, better sentences everyday, throwing bigger and badder tantrums daily, and becoming more and more independent with each passing moment. We took them to the Library on Sunday and he got to use the computer for the first time, applied for his own Library Card and picked and checked out his own books. As I watched him climb up into a chair and open his own book to read it by himself, I handed the baby to my husband so I could retreat to the washroom to wipe my eyes...

My seven month old has decided to get several big milestones out of the way all at once. Not too long ago she had just started scooting around, now suddenly she is sitting herself up without support, crawling some, pulling up to her knees, standing in her crib and sporting her first tooth. She has also learned her first word, "Dada", which she has begun to pair with "blahblahbaba yahahayaya" in wonderful jabber sentences. What a character she has become!

Did I fall asleep or something?

We have decided that we are happy with just the two kiddos, no more having babies for us (not on purpose anyway). I am excited to be done with the baby stage, to grow with my children, but it is a little sad knowing that these are the last times we will be experiencing the baby "firsts". I can't help tearing up when one of them does something new, something that proves that they are growing up and growing further away from Mommy. I know they will always need me but knowing that I wont always be the one to take care of them is a little disheartening.

I am just going to have to enjoy every moment that I get to be the most important person in their eyes, the moments that I get to make them feel better or teach them something new about Life.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Truth Teller and the 3 C's

 I was recently labeled a "Truth Teller" and love it!

If you haven't noticed already, I write the Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth in this Blog.There will always be a bit about being married and being a mother and mostly I just write about me. I know this may seem like I am selfish or conceited or just plain self absorbed. But the fact is that I truly believe that you or someone you know can relate to what I experience and how I feel. Like most of you, I learn best by example. So if I can help anyone at all, I plan on continuing to write even the embarrassing stuff. Sorry to make you blush ;)

With that being said, Let's talk about the 3 C's.
I have recently been obsessed with my appearance. Not so much that I want to turn heads as I walk by, (although that wouldn't hurt) but so that I feel good about myself. If I feel good about myself, I will function better as a Mother and a Wife. (And if Momma's happy, Everyone's Happy)

That brings me to the first C. Confidence! Or Self Confidence to be more exact. Most women that I know are very self conscience about their looks, lets turn that into Confidence ladies!
To be Confident in our looks, most of us just need to Change.

You guessed it, that's the second C. Change can be any number of things to you. Change in eating habits, exercising routines, attitude or hairstyle and clothes. Whatever Change you need to make to get you on the path to self Confidence.

Control is the next step. We have to learn to take Control to Change to become Confident.
You may remember my May = Momma Madness post awhile back... I was so ready to jump into Change but forgot to add in the Control to keep it up.

 So here it is a new month and I am at it again. I recently read a really great book that I suggest you all read to. I was able to relate to the main character in Your Roots Are Showing completely and I am inspired to take charge of my life before it takes charge of me. I have given myself til the end of this month to lose the last 7 lbs of baby weight and to tone up (actually exercise) until I can look in the mirror and like the way my clothes fit. I have been walking every evening and trying to work on the motivation to get out of bed every morning before my children wake up so I can workout and shower. I am Confident in my ability to take Control and Change!

Time for my walk, tonight I try jogging!

My goal is to look half as good as this again!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Family Ties...

My GPA that has been visiting us from OR just left, and it feels like it is the last time I will ever see him. Not to be all dramatic about it, but he is getting up there in age and we do live very far from each other. The time we were able to spend with him has been so special. My GPA and I have a bond that is indescribable. I loved watching him get to know my children, to see them fall in love with their GGPA. Every moment will forever be a sweet memory. I pray that he gets to his next destination safe and that he remembers to call and let me know.. ;)

Family really is such a special thing, something so many of us take for granted. I really admire the way GPA stays in contact with so many family and friends and they with him. It makes me want to be better at it myself. I got in contact with my grandparents from OR in 2003 and since then have gotten very close to the rest of the family. I am so very proud to be apart of something so amazing, a group of people that will do anything to help someone in need, to offer all the love they have. They have taken my family and myself under their wing and loved us like we have always been apart of them.

I have been blessed with a lot of family members throughout my life. Three amazing and interesting Aunts on my dad's side, all women that have taught me something special about life. Grandparents that made growing up a lot of fun, introducing me to new experiences.
On my mom's side I enjoyed numerous Holidays playing with cousins and learning new crafts with my Grandma.
I have a Brother that I can't help but love and a Sister that I look up to so much.
I have an Aunt and Uncle and cousins that love me all the way from OR.
I have an amazing whole other family on my husbands side, all of who have accepted and treated me with love for the past seven years. My in laws are fantastic, I really got lucky there! And a new Sister to hangout and share life lessons with. Grannys and Papas, cousins galore...I love them all!

So many people have closely touched my life, Do they know just how much?

Loving family members spread all throughout the country that I need to make more of an effort to keep in contact with. To let them know just how much they mean to me. If I have learned anything, it is that life is short and I have a lot of love to give.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Momma's night out

I am feeling a little bit random tonight, (more so than usual) I apologize ahead of time...

So I learned some thing about myself tonight... I found out that I really enjoy going to movies by myself. Which kind of scares me. I have always depended on others to keep me company, to have a good time. I was surprised at how comfortable I was standing in line for my ticket although I did get a little nervous when I was asked what movie I was seeing, I drew a blank and kind of stuttered as I said Bridesmaids. I even treated myself to snacks. Standing in that line was harder, I had to keep telling myself to stay put, not to escape to the darkness of the theater where it wouldn't be as obvious that I was there alone. There were a group of women there, maybe 4 or 5 in their 40's or so. A group of women that you could tell had all been friends for awhile, loud and fun and having a good time. It reminded me of the days when I would go out with the girls and harass our waiters... I was envious of these women because they were all there together, laughing and enjoying each others company. By the time I sat down and started stuffing my face with my expensive snacks I was feeling better about it.  By the time the movie started I had forgotten  I was even by myself. I laughed out loud and almost cried a few times (probably not a movie I should have watched by myself since I have actually been kicked out of a wedding) but over all had a really great time. Thankfully I had enough self respect not to get up and dance at the end when Wilson Phillips was singing ( I forgot how much I loved her !) and walked out with confidence.
The movie itself made me do a lot of thinking though. About what kind of friend I am. I wont go into the movie details, I don't want to ruin it for anyone. I want the kind of friendship that they have in the beginning of the movie, I want that friend to eat lunch wiht and make silly impressions with, to sing and dance horrible with...
My best friend is  9 hrs 16 mins / 533.89 miles away from me, not exactly the hangout on the weekends kind of situation (although we do talk most everyday) I have friends, even a few good ones ;) but I still don't do much to reach out to them. I used to be the one to initialize plans and dates. I was a go getter! But now I have realized that I am a recluse that waits for things to happen to her. Where did that go getter go? Did becoming a stay at home mom change me that much? Do I just use it as an excuse to push people away? I'm not that good of a friend, not like I used to think I was. I think becoming a mom made me sort of selfish. I forget to ask others how they are or ask about their lives...I think that's why I enjoy blogging so much, I get to get all my thoughts out  but don't have to listen to anyone Else's. That's horrible! I do not want to be this person! I love people, I love to talk, I love to have a good time. I'm a needy friend, the type that needs her calls answered or at least returned. The one that likes to text everyday or every other day, just about random things. I share personal stuff, I wear my feelings on my sleeve and have been known to get my feelings hurt easily. I just want to make room in my life for an everyday friend like in the movies...

Sunday, May 15, 2011

"I think about you constantly, whether it's with my mind or my heart."

Quote by Albany Bach Reid

Are you  missing someone?
 I have been in a constant state of "missing" in the past week. Friends separated by distance, friends separated by time...Loved ones gone from this world, missed opportunities, babies growing into children... memories hitting me in waves. I have even missed writing to you. So here is a recap of recent happenings:

I took a break from my 31 days to clean challenge, with washing the kitchen windows left to do. I will pick back up tomorrow morning.

My GPA came to visit from OR, traveling by himself since losing the love of his life last summer...Seeing him enjoy the time with his great grandchildren and listening to his stories has been so precious. Memories to hold onto for life. I miss the time I didn't get with my GMA, something I can not help feeling bitter about. The few memories I do have are sweet but much fewer than I need.

Of course the one person that I always miss is my best friend, a real true friend but distance keeps us from seeing each other more than a couple times a year. I do look forward to the times we hangout but often wonder what it would be like to be able to plan weekly get together... 

I have a few friends close by that time and life has just pushed us apart, some I miss, some I think I just miss the idea of having that friend to call up whenever I want. I am thankful for the ones I have but I find myself not trying to get close to anyone anymore, even when all I want is a girls night out every once in awhile. I never pick up the phone to make it happen; I can't keep waiting for it to happen for me...

Everyday I watch as my children grow and change right before my eyes. I know this is life and I should embrace it, most days I do... but lately I have wondered just where the time went. And did i make the most of it. Will I look back and know that I did everything I could to make each memory a great one for them? I look forward to each milestone: Grant learning something new each day, Lela about to start crawling, but will always miss the baby in them.

Speaking of growing up, I want to send a shout out to my amazing Sister in Law who just graduated from college. What an awesome accomplishment, I am so proud of her! It does make me feel a little old, and a little sad that I didn't take the opportunity to do the same when I had an easier chance at it. But I do know that when and if the time is right I will know it and pursue an education. For now I will just be proud of her and do my best to help my children pursue theirs.

Mothers day was amazing this year. I truly enjoyed every moment and memory we made together! It made me think of the few years that I would cry because all I wanted to be able to do was celebrate as a mother. I am so thankful for this opportunity! My gift this year: a new wallet! I found this on sale at our local grocery store, a super great buy and just had to have it!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Hidden Treasures...

Check out my fabulous find from the top of the refrigerator!

I woke up tired, sore and with the feeling of accomplishment this morning. I have been participating in a 31 day challenge to clean my home, 31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way and today is my Day 4.
Yesterday involved some deep cleaning in the kitchen and I went nuts! I couldn't stop! I was fortunate to have a little more time to spare yesterday since my son goes to daycare 2 days a week and my daughter took a 3 hour nap. I also have been trying to double up on my days so that I can have more done by the time I have family coming in to stay next week.
So starting with the top of the refrigerator and ending up with the oven, I scrubbed and washed until my fingers were tired. I even ventured under the refrigerator finding half of the missing ABC magnets! My stove top was so gross, with the impossible stains around the burners ( we have and old gas stove) and the oven is not self cleaning...I did my best in the inside of the oven and called it good! But the outside looks all shiny and brand new!
Oh and I introduced my cabinets to Murphy's soap and they became good friends. I cleared a whole corner of junk mail and clutter of papers off of the counter and rearranged a couple drawers, even the "junk drawer". It was like I was nesting all over again! Today I plan on finishing up more in the kitchen, if my little ones cooperate...
This challenge is wonderful, the book is a must read! I have so much motivation to make my house a home, I have even cleaned up the dinner dishes every night, creating better habits for myself each day. Maybe I will get lucky and they will rub off on my husband and then my children some day ;)

                        I took advantage of some free time while my children played together to get a little scrubbing done...

Monday, May 2, 2011

Day 1.... Mondays are supposed to be lazy...

Day 1 and I am just now taking the time to start my challenge. Luckily it is an easy one for me because I already know the answer. The question is: Why Clean? I have to write a mission statement on why i want a clean home and why I want my home to be a haven. That way I will stay motivated to reach my goals. so here are the reasons I want a clean home in no certain order:

 I want my husband to come home to a stress free zone after work.
 I want to enjoy the time I have with my family in an uncluttered space.
 I want a healthy family.
 I want to be stress free when a guest arrives.
 I want a home that reflects who I want to be.
 I want to look back on each day and feel accomplished not only as a mother and wife, but also as a Homemaker, my chosen profession.

Today started out slow with a chance to sleep in and wonderful cuddle time with my baby girl. I had a great phone conversation with my favorite Aunt, and enjoyed the freedom of the day. Then my son came home from daycare sick with a fever, poor boy isn't feeling well. and it's been crazy ever since. Definitely one of those days that I wish I would have gotten up early to get the chores done so I could feel accomplished instead of lazy... So it's nap time and after jotting this down, I am going to straighten up the house a little so I feel better about it :) That's what Mondays are for right?

Sunday, May 1, 2011

May= Momma Makeover Madness!

I am determined to change and change for the better! So starting tomorrow, I will be doing the 31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way cchallenge. It isn't just about having a clean house, it's about having a Happy Home. I am continually trying to live up to my Blog's name : the "Perfectly Content" part. I want to be able to enjoy my family and friends without the stress of the chores around the house. We can all live in unison!

I will also be working hard on my weight loss goal this month. I will be eating better and exercising more, all to feel good, be healthy and look Hot! I am thinking about a little hair change also... we will see!

This is going to be such a busy exciting month! My GPA from OR will be coming to visit in just over a week and my amazing sis in law is graduating from college! So I am grabbing ambition and motivation by the horns and not letting go until I am one Perfectly Content Busy Momma!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Sun at the end of the tunnel...

Thank Goodness for the Sun today! Its very encouraging to have a beautiful day after several stormy, rainy ones.
To celebrate The Sun, I decided to jump start my day with a couple cups of coffee, Barney for my 2 yr old and couponing for me! I have been searching for ways to cut down our spending and Groceries seem to be the big one... So I have been online finding coupons.
Another way I have tried to improve my Homemaker status is to do a better job keeping house. I'm not sure why I am so lazy when it comes to keeping my house clean. I was raised to clean, and clean a lot! Neither of my parents were ever lazy and they would probably be very shocked if they saw my house on a regular basis. My excuse, I'm rebelling from all the years I had to clean back then...lol
I am a huge advocate of playing with my children more than I care about the housework. They aren't going to remember if the dishes were done or not. I want them to remember all the fun we had not how much time I spent cleaning our home.
But that's just it, it is our Home, and I feel we would all be happier if our Home was cleaner on a daily basis. Now I'm not saying that my house is a disaster or filthy all the time, but I do the usual stressed out cleaning frenzy whenever someone calls to say they are stopping by. And that's if they call! You can imagine how stressed I am when someone just stops by! I don't want or need that extra stress in my life. So I am determined to keep it under control, everyday.
 I am super excited about this EBook a friend of mine posted on FB today and if you haven't heard of it already you must check it out!
31 Days to Clean - Having a Martha House the Mary Way  http://31daystoclean.com/
Starting on the 1st I am going to join in on the 31 day challenge!
I am feeling pretty accomplished today, looking forward to working out tonight at Fit Club. We are doing Turbo Fire... thinking about it wears me out already but I really need to get back onto workout mode! I hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful day as much as I am!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

What it means to be a MOM

This is a question that has had a lot of meaning for me my whole life and with Mother's Day coming up I thought I would rexamine the meaning of Mother.

Webster defines Mother:
a : a female parent b (1) : a woman in authority; specifically : the superior of a religious community of women (2) : an old or elderly woman  
: maternal tenderness or affection
Becoming a mother was a very scary thing for me. It was something I wasn't sure I could do. My Birth-Mother didn't make the requirements of the definition above and it often made me worry that there was something in my genes that would make me make the same bad choices she did. I always knew that she loved me, but even at a very young (too young) age, I knew that love wasn't enough. Being a Mom means changing your lifestyle in order to take care of your child. It means always puting your child first. It means sacrafice. I was very fortunate to have a new mom at the tender age of 2, one who did sacrafice everything to be with me. To raise me. I grew up with an amazing father, a great mother but still there was always the nagging question of why my actual birthmother didn't fight for me. How could she put me in those bad situations? Why didn't she change for me? 
The mom who raised me was wonderful but strict. Growing up I thought it was horrible, but looking back now I can see that I turned out ok becuase of it. Although she was great to talk to about everyday stuff, I wish we had been closer. Today I am closer to her than I ever was then, I guess I have more respect for her now.
It took us 3 years of really trying to get pregnant with our first child. 3 years of wondering what was wrong with me, was I meant to be a mother, could I really do it? It got to the point that every try was a chore, just one more let down. I think all of my anxiety over my past issues with my birthmother was the problem. Once I faced it all, we were able to get pregnant...
It had been 20 years since I had seen my birthmother and I had decided it was time to confront this fear of mine. I had to know if I was Her or not. With my husband holding my hand, I met her for the first time since I was 5 yrs old. I was determined to put the past behind me and forgive everything. What an amazing feeling, Forgiveness. If you have someone you need to Forgive, Do it. It will enrich your life!
I still dont have much of a relationship with her, not the mother daughter type, just friends. The mom that raised me is who I go to for that realtionship.
Seeing my Birthmother didn't give me all of the answers I was looking for but I did learn that I am not her, that I am strong enough to sacrafice anything for my children. That my love for them can and will overcome any obstacle in my life. Thats what being a mom really is.
 I want to build a household of fun and wonderful memories, of game nights and good life lessons. I am an amazing mother, a fun mom and will work harder and harder everyday to be the best mom for my family. I aspire to be the kind of mom that my daughter will want to be one day, one that my son looks for in a wife someday.
So this mother's day, celebrate what being a mom really means, not just the giving birth part.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Naptime = Blogtime!

Where to start? I have sooo much to say!

First of all I have made a major decision about my future. I have been going back and forth about whether it was the right time to go to school or not and decided to wait. I have been doing so much soul searching lately, trying to figure out what I want from life and the answer is always to be the best mom that my children can have. I want to focus on them, to shape their lives, to learn and grow with them. I don't want to be stressed over school work or trying to manage my time around them. I want every moment to be for them. I want more than anything to be that perfect "soccer mom".

D and I have had a really hard time with the whole college issue. We had both decided to go back to school, me to get my basics, him to pursue a career in Engineering. Well the local college doesn't offer anything for either of us besides the Basics. We have talked and talked about it and have come to the conclusion that neither of us wants to move away, to transfer to a 4 yr school. I have always been interested in Psychology and Sociology, Mental health, what makes people tick... here I can become a nurse or something along those lines. Why settle if it really isn't what I want?  We have both been in a kind of Funk about the Future but after a wonderful talk yesterday have realized that we want to live for our children now. Shape and teach them to pursue their careers early on if that's what they choose. There really isn't anything here for young people, but it is a great place to live. So we are staying and are going to enjoy making memories with our family.

Also because of our Funk, I had made the desicion to get a part time job in the evenings, to bring in a little money and to get out of the house. Well after our long talk I changed my mind, wanting to just spend as much time together as possible. There have been so many losing loved ones all around us lately, it really shows you how short life can be. Lets embrace every moment!

Oh, and in case you live somewhere very far from here, it has been raining nonstop for several days and going to continue for many more. And did I mention the storms? We have had Severe Thunderstorms and Tornado Warnings for the last few days. Ever since the Tornado that hit our town in 2008, I get really anxious if it gets windy outside or if there is a chance of a Tornado Watch. I feel so much better when my whole family is home together in weather like this...More to come tonight, thank goodness I am stocked up on wine. ;)

Luckily we got out of our Funk early, this not having any sun might have done us in! I decided instead to focus on how to be an amazing mom this morning and started it out by making heart shaped pancakes (not that turned out that way) and building a Fort with Grant. We had so much fun playing, even Lela (who will 6months old on Thurs) *wipe tear, sniff* figured out that she could reach anything in their room by pulling and scooting herself around! Oh man do they grow up fast. Both my children are at points in their lives that milestones are just coming one after the other. I have been just a little emotional about it as of late!

Starting today I am looking in the mirror at a Brand New Woman: A better Mom, A better Wife, A better friend, A better person.

Who's with me?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The Power of Positive Thinking

What's good about a really bad day? It makes you determined to make the next better. Today has been wonderful so far. Thanks to a push from a friend, I have decided to participate in a 3 day Shake cleanse. Im hoping its the boost I need to get back on track and lose this stubborb belly fat! Ha! Grant appoligized for his crankiness last night by sleeping in this morning and both kiddos have been fun. I even got some cleaning done in between playing. Now we are resting waiting for Daddy to come home for lunch.
The Cleanse involves drinking a shake for breakfast, another one for lunch and eating a salad for dinner. I'm doing my best to remember to drink lots of water in between. I have a great support system of girls doing the same, so I am positive there will be good results. I decided to skip out on my coffee this morning, just to prove to myself I can, and so just a little headache. And maybe a little tired too ;) Silver lining: No coffee cup to wash!
As far as money issues, as always, these things tend to work themselves out. I think it's Magic and God...God's Magic?

Monday, April 18, 2011

Wine helps the Whining...

This day started out wonderful...
  Grant (my 2 yr old) goes to daycare twice a week to get acclimated with other children, while I spend much needed time with Lela (my almost 6 month old). So today I was able to sleep in til 9 am because my daughter knows what beauty rest means. Started my day with baby smiles and 2 cups of coffee. Had a great time Skyping with my sister, and had big afternoon plans to Easter dress shop with my Lil girl. I'm not big into frilly dresses, but something about a baby girl in an Easter dress just makes me want to shop! Well before all the fun shopping I had to go and get our minivan legalized. Insurance, Accessor's office and Revenue Office. Fun Fun. This is where my wonderful morning turns into a crap day.
  By the time I left the DMV I was ready to cry. Somehow we had thought that we wouldn't have to pay sales tax on our trade in. Turns out you have to pay it on the difference of the trade in. So an unexpected $100.00 later I am on my way home instead of dress shopping with my daughter as planned. It's hard enough being a stay at home mom, with no income coming in. I feel guilty anytime I want to spend money on something for myself or something we don't need. Not that my husband makes me feel that way, I have just always worked for what I spent. So knowing that The Budget was going to be set back that much I knew the first thing I had to do when I got home was to figure it out. Well after a lot of figuring I figured it out... yep I figured out that we are short. Short on money that is. That figures... As I tell my husband I see his face fall. He works so hard as it is, no wife likes to see her husband like that.
  At least dinner was a success, I have a knack for throwing stuff together and making it edible.
  By the time dinner was over I had accepted that somehow money problems always work out and was ready to tackled the rest of my evening. D went out to work on a Job in the shop, and I continued my Job as Supermom :)
 hmmm how to describe what happened then... well to shorten it: time-out, tantrum, spanking, and meltdown. Those are just a few words that come to mind. Grant came home from daycare yet again without taking a nap, he has an issue with sleeping anywhere but in his bed, and made sure I knew it! Lela decided she needed every once of my attention because all day wasn't enough for her, and I am going to be brutally honest: I am PMSing. Yep I just wrote that out loud. So the combination turned lethal and bedtime did not come soon enough. Not that bedtime is any easier these days. Grant being 2, has decided he doesn't love bedtime like he used to. He fights it to the point he actually asks for time-out and spankings, anything but having to sleep. While hurrying through Grant's nighttime routine, Lela was screaming in the other room waiting for her night time routine. I am only one person, supermom or not. By the time I got both kids down, I was chugging the last half of Wine left in the fridge. So, to sum things up, If any of this is readable, you can thank the Wine. My night ends slightly intoxicated and pondering looking for work... Tomorrow will be a new day, a new beginning and hopefully a better day.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

A Mommys Dream Job

Most Moms I know wish they could stay home with their children, something I have been lucky enough to accomplish. I want to help other moms do the same, and like most I learn best by example. Don't get me wrong it wasn't and still isn't easy but here is how it went for us:

The first step for us was taking the Financial Peace University course with Dave Ramsey. It was the best thing we ever did for our financial future. Some of the things we learned : pay off our debt, secure an emergency fund and learn how to cut back our spending.

We didn't have big debt to start with, only little cards here and there besides our house and car. So I took on a second job, working in the evenings at a fast food restaurant to pay off each one at a time. After that we started paying extra on our car payment each month. We had it paid off before our first baby was born. That was the easy part. Then came saving money. I don't have to tell you, that its a challenge. We started out saving  up $500 for an Emergency fund. Then we started having fun trying to see just how much money we could save. It is amazing how different your outlook on life gets when you stop spending. We realized what was really important. I'm not going to go into all of it, but I definitely recommend checking out Dave Ramsey, he will change your life!

Well having a baby changed things, added a little more debt and bills to our budget, so for a year I worked on figuring out how to cut our monthly spending. I still have the notebooks of charts I made showing what was coming in and what was going out. I never got it to equal out. I missed out on the fun of staying home with my son for a whole year. So my husband and I sat down and decided to take the plunge. We had recently built a shop (more debt) in the backyard that he could do some side work out of in the evenings, he was willing to be the one to take on the extra job in order for me to stay home with our children...yes by then I was pregnant with our second baby. It's all about sacrifice, and jumping in. We knew we could make it, we just had to cut back some.

OK, now that I have laid out the fairy tale of how to stay home, let me throw some reality at you. IT IS HARD! It is a complete lifestyle change, it doesn't happen over night, and you will always struggle. In fact we are struggling right now. Somehow money makes you make bad decisions, if you have it you spend it. So we are living one paycheck to the next and still wondering where it all goes. My husband feels like all the burden is on him to bring home the proverbial Bacon, and I feel like I never have any fun money. I get lonely most days with only a 2yr old to talk to a 5 month old to take care of. I rely on FB and Netflix to provide any needed drama in my life, and my daily routine includes laundry and snack time. We don't have health ins (but we do have an emergency fund), I don't go anywhere if I don't have enough gas for the week, and some days I feel I deserve an award for not flushing my children down the toilet. I'm telling you this not to discourage you, but to show you that if we can do it, so can you. Somehow we do it and I would never change any of it. I get to spend my days watching every moment of their lives, the changes, the milestones and soak up there love. I get to be the Mom they will remember making cookies and finger painting with. If you are stubborn enough (and most of you are) then you can pull this off. Sit down and make a list of all (don't leave anything out) your monthly expenses. Add it all up and compare it to how much money would come in that month if you weren't working. Then go through and take out or cut down the going out expenses until they equal the coming in. it is do-able. Start thinking like you only have one income, start living like the biggest obstacle standing in your way is your job and find a way to eliminate it. When you want something bad enough, life finds a way of working itself out.

I have been struggling on the budgeting lately, not staying as organized as I once was, not saving like we used to. But today is a new day, Today I Stop Spending and Start Saving!

Backwards and inside out...

My Cool Dude on his way to Backwards Day at Daycare today.
 It's crazy how fast he's growing up. Before I know it he will be Kindegarten...
    I'm starting a new weightloss goal today, Lose 10lbs in 10 weeks... Its completly do-able, as long as I can get out of this slump that i am in. I have been on a junk food binge as of late. Which is really sad because I had finally gotten down to my pre-baby weight and was feeling great about myself. i have no idea how things turned around so fast. So I have decided to get back on the horse and win a little sisterly competition! I will be visiting my sister at the end of June and plan on being in the best shape of my life, we are eachothers motivation. I really need to start excersising again, I have an eliptical that is standing alone in front of my tv, not like I never see it. Im also going to start going to my Thursday night Fitness class. I loved getting out and I always left feeling great. So here's to becoming "One Hot Mama" in the next 10 weeks!

I'm also working on getting more organized with our budget. As Dave Ramsey puts it, I'm the Free Spirit while Dusty is the Nerd. We are making it day to day but are failing puting anything to savings. So here goes project Saving!

Before you know it I will be one Hot Money Savy Mama!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

"Let's Talk about Love Baby"

I'm talking friend love... You know, relationships...
This has been on my mind a lot lately. The different types of love and friendships you go through in life. The ones you keep and the ones you lose. How growing up affects them.
I've always been the type to "fall in love with people", if I like someone, it has always been easy for me to want to be fast friends. In the past this has been good and bad, because you see, this also leaves me wide open to get hurt. When I was little I remember my Favorite best friends, the ones I looked forward to seeing after summer break, the ones I played with during the summer. I was always the "social butterfly" as all of my progress reports say. I was always the type to have one best friend or one group of close friends and talked to everyone. Relationships were easy then. (although the drama of H.S made them all seem so hard) Looking back you realize those were the "loving is easy" days.
Well then the growing up starts, Life takes over and you change. Getting Married, having babies, moving away: all that changes the relationships you have.
Your husband becomes the most important person in your life instead of even your Best Girlfriend. The saying " we will never let a guy come between us" doesn't apply anymore. We had a hard time finding other couples to hang out with because we were always on a different page in life. We got married young. And of course having kids changes Everything!
I learned over the years to not fall so hard for friends, to just enjoy the fun times. I have been hurt a lot but it was because I tried too hard. I am content with the friendships I have, the Bestie, the fun ones, the new ones, the talk or texting ones, the catch up with once a month ones, and the see eachother once a year ones. I love them all and have figured out that even the friendships lost were a lesson in life. A lesson on enjoying every moment and that what once was lost can always be found.

I've missed you!

I have had so much to talk about, I'm hoping I have it all stashed in my head so I can get it all on here! It's amazing how dependent we are on technology these days. My daily routine was so messed up for more than a week and I was completely lost. I wont bore you with the computer problems and the tech support issues... I am just happy to have it back and hope that it is now fixed.
The newest addition to our family fun : A veggie garden! We are so excited to finally have a garden. We have talked for years about puting one in but have always made excuses not to start it: too expensive, no room, blah blah blah! So this year we just jumped right in. We decided that if we put a raised bed in, we could always move it later if needed, or expand it next year. We went and prised all the material on it and were a little discouraged at just how much it would cost to get one started. So my super handy husband came up with a brilliant idea (as always) and used some scrap sheet medal leftover from the shop, and some 2X4 he had laying around to build an 8X8 box. We had to go out and get some fencing to keep our dogs out of it and put in a few tomato plants, jalapeno and bell peppers, lettuce, peas, squash and strawberries. Just enough for our little family the first year. We cant wait to watch it grow!
The best part of the day was spending so much time with the family! We all went and bought plants, took naps and planted together! here are a few pics to document the fun:

Grant played in the dirt for awhile

Puting the first Tomato Plants in...

Grant planted his own Strawberry plant, he's such a big boy!

Lela just hung out in here Bouncer watching the whole time!

What a wonderful Family fulled day! Even the Dogs enjoyed hanging out with us!

We had a really great weekend together. We were worn out and Dusty and I got a little sunburned ;) but overall an excellent weekend.

Next Blog: Something Serious...

Sunday, March 27, 2011

What do I want to be when I grow up?

By my age most people already have their life planned: their schooling finished or almost finished and their career paths started or on the road to them. So why am I so undecided?

Do you remember the first thing you wanted to be when you grew up? At the age of 5 I just knew that I would be the next Reba McIntire, I sounded just like here after all. ;) Well as it turned out, I didn't sound like her at all, thanks to a good friend for letting me know "that I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket." If only some of the 1st week contestants on American Idol had friends like that!
From there I aspired to be anything from a Marine Biologist to an Archealogist. I had big plans.
When I started college in 2003 I decided that I wanted to be a Crime Scence Investigator, just like on the show CSI. Well there is something about living in a small town in AR that made me realize that I wouldn't get far doing that here. I also realized that I wanted a family more than anything and that would not be a job I could not bring home with me. So I quit school because of laziness and a change in major.
Now I am a SAHM and am thinking about going back to school. I just dont know what I want to do. I know that by the time my kiddos are in school i want to have a career of some sort. I know that I want to be the type of mom that is home when they get out of school, with snack on the table for them and all their friends. I want to be a soccor mom. I want to have time to go to all their games and school functions. I want to be mom first. So why do i still need a career? Why do I still need to be able to say that I have gone to school? A Title? I would love to just go to school and take a few classes I am interested in, but then what? What do I do with them? What would I do while my children are in school? Do I settle for a part time job? Would anyone hire me for the specific hours I would need?
Should I just be a lunch lady?
I am having a hard time knowing exactly what i want to do, I only know that I want to be Mom First.

Well We Did it, We got a Minivan!

Friday, March 25, 2011

On the Menu Today: Animal Crackers With a side of Ketchup "pease and tank you"

Are you tired of me talking about myself? Me to!!! So here's what Life was like at the Woodell House today. Nothing all that exciting, just a normal day with a few cute highlights thrown in.
We started out the usual way, me staring into outerspace until my cup of magic kicked in, Grant being cranky beacause he doesn't have coffee to help him wake up...(hmmm I wonder if it is just a myth that it stunts your growth, and would it be worth it if it helped keep my stress level down?) And Lela sleeping in to a glorious 8:30, just enough time to finish coffee (shes my favorite child already) haha j/k really I would never pick a favorite between my children, what kind of mom do you think I am?
 Anyway our day went by without much fuss, I turned Barney on and solved the problem of my very cranky 2 yr old, thats right I am one of "Those Moms".
 For snack time, I gave Grant some animal crackers and he insisted on having ketchup with them. Now I know every kid goes through the "ketchup stage", in fact I thought Grant was already done with it. So I reluctantly gave it to him thinking he would realize his mistake.... but of course he loved it and asked for more.
 We would have gone outside but it was so cold out there today so we decided to play inside. Grant is now deciding that he likes his baby sister and even plays with her a little. I caught him sharing his cars with her, the ones he wont even let me play with. He did pretty good until he realized that he was sharing and had a melt down.... Then later today while I was making dinner,  Lela bounced in her jumper and Grant tried playing patty cake with her.  Then he would play like he fell down to make her laugh, She loved it! (he did say "push when I laughingly asked if he fell down, trying to blame Lela... lol )
Who is this boy living in my house and what did he do with my son? Can he really be outgrowing his bully stage already? He has been going to daycare 2 times a week to get acculmated with other kids. It seems to be working!
Now the boys are out playing in the shop while the girls chill on the couch. Daddy is showing Grant his "Daddy's Mare-o Car" which is just Grant's way of saying Camaro Car. I was going to bully Dusty into giving Lela her bath since I have worked so hard today..;) but since they are having so much fun out there I better go do the bath. Then off to meet the beautiful new addition to our friends home and a visit to nana and papa's to end our night.
That my friends is what life is all about, Family.

Next To Every Crazy Woman, There is a Strong Man...

I would like to dedicate this one to my Amazing and Patient Husband. Through the years I have changed a lot. My looks, my attitude, my outlook on life and my personality. Now I know that Im not alone in all this, there are plenty of crazy (I call myself crazy with the utmost affection) women out there like me, but lucky for me I have a wonderful man holding my hand through it all. Now this is going to get pretty personal and boring, but I promise to add some crazy pictures to keep it fun :) 

Ok Lets go back to the years of barbies and dolls... only I wasnt playing with those, I prefered the action packed Ninja Turtles! Oh yeah, Cow-A-Bunga Dudes!

I was super cute and sugar sweet...
I was a good kid, hardly ever got in trouble, and when I did I was super sensitive, a look of disaproval from dad would be enough to discipline me. Man my parents had it good, even through H.S I was good. I did a few things I wont want my kids doing but for the most part not too bad.

Heres where the 1st major change came in my almost adult life. My senior year of H.S. (Go Panthers!) I decided I had had enough of my parents strict and sheltering lifestyle and wanted some freedom... HA! You want to know what I thought would be the right amount of Freedom for me? Well I enlisted in the United States Marine Corps... you can stop looking so shocked, I already warned you of the craziness... Well to make that long story a bit shorter, I didn't go through with it. Let me be very clear on this, I was very proud to be sworn in, I would have been very proud to serve my country as a Marine. But as I said, I was looking for Freedom and when I moved out of my parents' house on Graduation Night, I got a taste of what I was looking for. This is where I came out of my shell a bit. I wont go into the details, you can just use your imagination to make this chapter of my life as interesting as you want. So after some "Living" and my dad insisting, I withdrew myself from the military, a week before leaving for bootcamp. This was not an easy process, and not anything I would reccomend to anyone. I had to write a letter with all my reasons etc... I was told that since they had already "met their quota for women, that they wouldn't throw the book at me". I'll never forget the day I turned in that letter, my Staff Sergeant said theses words to me; "By quiting this, you are setting a prescedent for the rest of your life, you will quit everything you attempt to do." Those words angered me for a long time but I have come to understand what they mean...

So from there my best friend and roomate roped me into enrolling in college, a week before classes started.

Let me insert another big issue in my life here: We will just leave it at
 "Very Bad Relationship With a Very bad Boy"

Ok, on with it... So college ended up being a bad idea... I guess I didnt realize you were required to actually show up for class and watched as my grades declined drastically. So using the excuse that I had decided to change my major (I no longer aspired to be a CSI) I dropped out a week before finals my first year. That didnt help my resolve to prove my staff sergeant's words to me wrong.... ( although I have plans on going back to school this fall)

Is there a limit on how long these blogs can be? You may want to take a pee break here....

This is the Best part: Meeting Dusty!
College did one thing for me, it introduced me to a very awesome fun friend

that to this day I still love talking to. She told me about this boy, this boy that I happened to be working with at Pizza Hut at the time. This cute boy liked Me! Me, can you believe it?

Well because of my recent "Very Bad Relationship" experience, I made a fool of myself...This is how that went down. I asked our mutual friend, the aspiring matchmaker, to take me to this boys house so I could talk to him in person. Thats me, up front and to the point. So I asked him to come outside with me and on his own front porch and said these words to him: "I know that you like me, but I just got out of very bad relationship and don't want anything to do with you." yep, I said just that. I know what your are thinking, "cold hearted B-word" but if you understood just what I had just been through you may understand those words better. A story for another time maybe. Well thank goodness he didn't give up on that crazy girl, we ended up hanging out and flirting on our first non-date and I agreed to go on a real date with him the next night we had off together. As the saying goes : The rest is history!

This is where the changes started in my looks. Somewhere after we were married and before we had our first baby I realized how fun it was to change my hair! I started out dyeing it different colors, then I cut it a little and a little more until it was very short! Then I got my nose peirced, which was fun until I had to take it out for my job at the bank. So I settled on getting Tattoos where I could hide them. All of this to some shock to my friends and family. But not to my husband. Somehow he sees me, knows just who I am even when I don't. And he accepts me for the crazy woman I am.

My outlook on life has changed drastically over the years. Of course in H.S, all that seemed very important and looking back we realize that none of that drama mattered. I grew up thinking that I would get married at 30, kids by 35 and live life happily ever after. As it turned out I found my soul mate (or rather he found me,) and was married at 19 and was ready for a baby by 21. Well God had other plans for us and it took 3 yrs of trying before we had Grant. Who may I add has changed my life so much! I never thought I could love like I love my children. (another blog on this subject later)

Getting Married at 19 was wonderful, but by the time I hit 21 I realized all the dumb fun stuff I had never done before. That was a hard time for Dusty and I, and again I thank the good Lord above that he stuck by me in that time of change. Knowing that Dusty was the man I wanted to grow old with, I made it a priority to grow up and stop worrying about the things I hadn't experienced and embraced my amazing life!

Of course becoming a mom was another major change in life, in fact it changed everything! My perspective on life has completly changed, everything I do, everything I say I wonder how it will affect them someday. Well this is where I close this very lenghty post, I am sure I will be adding to this subject in the posts to come. I hope that at the end of this, you understand me a little more; I hope to understand myself a little more each time I clean out the cobwebs in my head...