Most Moms I know wish they could stay home with their children, something I have been lucky enough to accomplish. I want to help other moms do the same, and like most I learn best by example. Don't get me wrong it wasn't and still isn't easy but here is how it went for us:
The first step for us was taking the Financial Peace University course with Dave Ramsey. It was the best thing we ever did for our financial future. Some of the things we learned : pay off our debt, secure an emergency fund and learn how to cut back our spending.
We didn't have big debt to start with, only little cards here and there besides our house and car. So I took on a second job, working in the evenings at a fast food restaurant to pay off each one at a time. After that we started paying extra on our car payment each month. We had it paid off before our first baby was born. That was the easy part. Then came saving money. I don't have to tell you, that its a challenge. We started out saving up $500 for an Emergency fund. Then we started having fun trying to see just how much money we could save. It is amazing how different your outlook on life gets when you stop spending. We realized what was really important. I'm not going to go into all of it, but I definitely recommend checking out Dave Ramsey, he will change your life!
Well having a baby changed things, added a little more debt and bills to our budget, so for a year I worked on figuring out how to cut our monthly spending. I still have the notebooks of charts I made showing what was coming in and what was going out. I never got it to equal out. I missed out on the fun of staying home with my son for a whole year. So my husband and I sat down and decided to take the plunge. We had recently built a shop (more debt) in the backyard that he could do some side work out of in the evenings, he was willing to be the one to take on the extra job in order for me to stay home with our children...yes by then I was pregnant with our second baby. It's all about sacrifice, and jumping in. We knew we could make it, we just had to cut back some.
OK, now that I have laid out the fairy tale of how to stay home, let me throw some reality at you. IT IS HARD! It is a complete lifestyle change, it doesn't happen over night, and you will always struggle. In fact we are struggling right now. Somehow money makes you make bad decisions, if you have it you spend it. So we are living one paycheck to the next and still wondering where it all goes. My husband feels like all the burden is on him to bring home the proverbial Bacon, and I feel like I never have any fun money. I get lonely most days with only a 2yr old to talk to a 5 month old to take care of. I rely on FB and Netflix to provide any needed drama in my life, and my daily routine includes laundry and snack time. We don't have health ins (but we do have an emergency fund), I don't go anywhere if I don't have enough gas for the week, and some days I feel I deserve an award for not flushing my children down the toilet. I'm telling you this not to discourage you, but to show you that if we can do it, so can you. Somehow we do it and I would never change any of it. I get to spend my days watching every moment of their lives, the changes, the milestones and soak up there love. I get to be the Mom they will remember making cookies and finger painting with. If you are stubborn enough (and most of you are) then you can pull this off. Sit down and make a list of all (don't leave anything out) your monthly expenses. Add it all up and compare it to how much money would come in that month if you weren't working. Then go through and take out or cut down the going out expenses until they equal the coming in. it is do-able. Start thinking like you only have one income, start living like the biggest obstacle standing in your way is your job and find a way to eliminate it. When you want something bad enough, life finds a way of working itself out.
I have been struggling on the budgeting lately, not staying as organized as I once was, not saving like we used to. But today is a new day, Today I Stop Spending and Start Saving!
3 comments:
Ashley!...I am soo glad you wrote this! Jerry and I went thru all these same steps. I actually babysat in my home for awhile so I could stay home. I no longer have to do that...though I loved it. Dave Ramsey changed our lives too!
Bah ha ha ha Ashley, after reading this, I think we live the exact same life. especially the part about flushing kids down the toilet. Lol. It is hard, but if you want anything out of life it takes sacrifice. Shawn makes excellent money but he is gone ALL THE TIME. We're on a 5 year plan right now. But somehow or another I don't think he's going to get out of the oil field in under 10. Plus he's not getting any younger and we really have to think about retirement. It's hard. But we do what we have to so that we can have the things we want and more important the thins we need. I'm with you. I have to get more organized and our piddly $500 a month in savings comes out of there as fast as it goes in. If you need a push, or words of encouragement, I'll be here for you.... if you'll be there for me!!! Lol
Good job! We are working our debt right now. And you are very strong..it is hard to stay home..I only did it for about 3 weeks and I was going crazy! I hate to admit that because I love my daughter but it is much better for both of us for me to work! lol. Luckily she gets to go to duke's aunt everyday and loves being there..it makes taking her somewhere a lot easier. Also the whole not having health insurance thing scared me! Duke's a teacher and their insurance is like $1000 a month for a family. So that wasn't going to happen. Good luck and stay on course! We are trying to stick with the paying off debt thing but it is sooo hard sometimes. I think its all walmarts fault. So hard not to spend your whole paycheck there!
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