Where to start? I have sooo much to say!
First of all I have made a major decision about my future. I have been going back and forth about whether it was the right time to go to school or not and decided to wait. I have been doing so much soul searching lately, trying to figure out what I want from life and the answer is always to be the best mom that my children can have. I want to focus on them, to shape their lives, to learn and grow with them. I don't want to be stressed over school work or trying to manage my time around them. I want every moment to be for them. I want more than anything to be that perfect "soccer mom".
D and I have had a really hard time with the whole college issue. We had both decided to go back to school, me to get my basics, him to pursue a career in Engineering. Well the local college doesn't offer anything for either of us besides the Basics. We have talked and talked about it and have come to the conclusion that neither of us wants to move away, to transfer to a 4 yr school. I have always been interested in Psychology and Sociology, Mental health, what makes people tick... here I can become a nurse or something along those lines. Why settle if it really isn't what I want? We have both been in a kind of Funk about the Future but after a wonderful talk yesterday have realized that we want to live for our children now. Shape and teach them to pursue their careers early on if that's what they choose. There really isn't anything here for young people, but it is a great place to live. So we are staying and are going to enjoy making memories with our family.
Also because of our Funk, I had made the desicion to get a part time job in the evenings, to bring in a little money and to get out of the house. Well after our long talk I changed my mind, wanting to just spend as much time together as possible. There have been so many losing loved ones all around us lately, it really shows you how short life can be. Lets embrace every moment!
Oh, and in case you live somewhere very far from here, it has been raining nonstop for several days and going to continue for many more. And did I mention the storms? We have had Severe Thunderstorms and Tornado Warnings for the last few days. Ever since the Tornado that hit our town in 2008, I get really anxious if it gets windy outside or if there is a chance of a Tornado Watch. I feel so much better when my whole family is home together in weather like this...More to come tonight, thank goodness I am stocked up on wine. ;)
Luckily we got out of our Funk early, this not having any sun might have done us in! I decided instead to focus on how to be an amazing mom this morning and started it out by making heart shaped pancakes (not that turned out that way) and building a Fort with Grant. We had so much fun playing, even Lela (who will 6months old on Thurs) *wipe tear, sniff* figured out that she could reach anything in their room by pulling and scooting herself around! Oh man do they grow up fast. Both my children are at points in their lives that milestones are just coming one after the other. I have been just a little emotional about it as of late!
Starting today I am looking in the mirror at a Brand New Woman: A better Mom, A better Wife, A better friend, A better person.
Who's with me?
3 comments:
Just wait til Kindergarten hits. Then do a part time job or at least start taking the general ed classes during that time. Good thinking though!
I know these are tough decisions and I admire you for putting your children first right now. These early years FLY by. You won't believe how quickly Grant will be in school. I know money is tight and all that, but no one has ever told me they wished they had worked more or gone to school more and been with their kids less. I believe you are doing the right thing. Sometimes the demon on my shoulder says things like "you'll never find a job in teaching again", etc. But in my opinion the most important job I'll ever have is helping teach my own children and being the kind of wife I should be. Sometimes I still don't think I do a great job at either, but I know it would be even harder with a job or college classes. Way to go, Ashley. Keep growing. I see a lot of wisdom in your new found decision.
Thank you so much for the encouragement. It really is hard enough to keep up with the everyday to day stuff and still have as much fun as possible with my children that I can. I can't imagine trying to juggle school with it. I really admire the mom's that can do it all and still appear to be amazing moms. I have to work extra hard some days ;)
Post a Comment