Sunday, May 15, 2011

"I think about you constantly, whether it's with my mind or my heart."

Quote by Albany Bach Reid

Are you  missing someone?
 I have been in a constant state of "missing" in the past week. Friends separated by distance, friends separated by time...Loved ones gone from this world, missed opportunities, babies growing into children... memories hitting me in waves. I have even missed writing to you. So here is a recap of recent happenings:

I took a break from my 31 days to clean challenge, with washing the kitchen windows left to do. I will pick back up tomorrow morning.

My GPA came to visit from OR, traveling by himself since losing the love of his life last summer...Seeing him enjoy the time with his great grandchildren and listening to his stories has been so precious. Memories to hold onto for life. I miss the time I didn't get with my GMA, something I can not help feeling bitter about. The few memories I do have are sweet but much fewer than I need.

Of course the one person that I always miss is my best friend, a real true friend but distance keeps us from seeing each other more than a couple times a year. I do look forward to the times we hangout but often wonder what it would be like to be able to plan weekly get together... 

I have a few friends close by that time and life has just pushed us apart, some I miss, some I think I just miss the idea of having that friend to call up whenever I want. I am thankful for the ones I have but I find myself not trying to get close to anyone anymore, even when all I want is a girls night out every once in awhile. I never pick up the phone to make it happen; I can't keep waiting for it to happen for me...

Everyday I watch as my children grow and change right before my eyes. I know this is life and I should embrace it, most days I do... but lately I have wondered just where the time went. And did i make the most of it. Will I look back and know that I did everything I could to make each memory a great one for them? I look forward to each milestone: Grant learning something new each day, Lela about to start crawling, but will always miss the baby in them.

Speaking of growing up, I want to send a shout out to my amazing Sister in Law who just graduated from college. What an awesome accomplishment, I am so proud of her! It does make me feel a little old, and a little sad that I didn't take the opportunity to do the same when I had an easier chance at it. But I do know that when and if the time is right I will know it and pursue an education. For now I will just be proud of her and do my best to help my children pursue theirs.

Mothers day was amazing this year. I truly enjoyed every moment and memory we made together! It made me think of the few years that I would cry because all I wanted to be able to do was celebrate as a mother. I am so thankful for this opportunity! My gift this year: a new wallet! I found this on sale at our local grocery store, a super great buy and just had to have it!