Sunday, March 27, 2011

What do I want to be when I grow up?

By my age most people already have their life planned: their schooling finished or almost finished and their career paths started or on the road to them. So why am I so undecided?

Do you remember the first thing you wanted to be when you grew up? At the age of 5 I just knew that I would be the next Reba McIntire, I sounded just like here after all. ;) Well as it turned out, I didn't sound like her at all, thanks to a good friend for letting me know "that I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket." If only some of the 1st week contestants on American Idol had friends like that!
From there I aspired to be anything from a Marine Biologist to an Archealogist. I had big plans.
When I started college in 2003 I decided that I wanted to be a Crime Scence Investigator, just like on the show CSI. Well there is something about living in a small town in AR that made me realize that I wouldn't get far doing that here. I also realized that I wanted a family more than anything and that would not be a job I could not bring home with me. So I quit school because of laziness and a change in major.
Now I am a SAHM and am thinking about going back to school. I just dont know what I want to do. I know that by the time my kiddos are in school i want to have a career of some sort. I know that I want to be the type of mom that is home when they get out of school, with snack on the table for them and all their friends. I want to be a soccor mom. I want to have time to go to all their games and school functions. I want to be mom first. So why do i still need a career? Why do I still need to be able to say that I have gone to school? A Title? I would love to just go to school and take a few classes I am interested in, but then what? What do I do with them? What would I do while my children are in school? Do I settle for a part time job? Would anyone hire me for the specific hours I would need?
Should I just be a lunch lady?
I am having a hard time knowing exactly what i want to do, I only know that I want to be Mom First.

Well We Did it, We got a Minivan!

Friday, March 25, 2011

On the Menu Today: Animal Crackers With a side of Ketchup "pease and tank you"

Are you tired of me talking about myself? Me to!!! So here's what Life was like at the Woodell House today. Nothing all that exciting, just a normal day with a few cute highlights thrown in.
We started out the usual way, me staring into outerspace until my cup of magic kicked in, Grant being cranky beacause he doesn't have coffee to help him wake up...(hmmm I wonder if it is just a myth that it stunts your growth, and would it be worth it if it helped keep my stress level down?) And Lela sleeping in to a glorious 8:30, just enough time to finish coffee (shes my favorite child already) haha j/k really I would never pick a favorite between my children, what kind of mom do you think I am?
 Anyway our day went by without much fuss, I turned Barney on and solved the problem of my very cranky 2 yr old, thats right I am one of "Those Moms".
 For snack time, I gave Grant some animal crackers and he insisted on having ketchup with them. Now I know every kid goes through the "ketchup stage", in fact I thought Grant was already done with it. So I reluctantly gave it to him thinking he would realize his mistake.... but of course he loved it and asked for more.
 We would have gone outside but it was so cold out there today so we decided to play inside. Grant is now deciding that he likes his baby sister and even plays with her a little. I caught him sharing his cars with her, the ones he wont even let me play with. He did pretty good until he realized that he was sharing and had a melt down.... Then later today while I was making dinner,  Lela bounced in her jumper and Grant tried playing patty cake with her.  Then he would play like he fell down to make her laugh, She loved it! (he did say "push when I laughingly asked if he fell down, trying to blame Lela... lol )
Who is this boy living in my house and what did he do with my son? Can he really be outgrowing his bully stage already? He has been going to daycare 2 times a week to get acculmated with other kids. It seems to be working!
Now the boys are out playing in the shop while the girls chill on the couch. Daddy is showing Grant his "Daddy's Mare-o Car" which is just Grant's way of saying Camaro Car. I was going to bully Dusty into giving Lela her bath since I have worked so hard today..;) but since they are having so much fun out there I better go do the bath. Then off to meet the beautiful new addition to our friends home and a visit to nana and papa's to end our night.
That my friends is what life is all about, Family.

Next To Every Crazy Woman, There is a Strong Man...

I would like to dedicate this one to my Amazing and Patient Husband. Through the years I have changed a lot. My looks, my attitude, my outlook on life and my personality. Now I know that Im not alone in all this, there are plenty of crazy (I call myself crazy with the utmost affection) women out there like me, but lucky for me I have a wonderful man holding my hand through it all. Now this is going to get pretty personal and boring, but I promise to add some crazy pictures to keep it fun :) 

Ok Lets go back to the years of barbies and dolls... only I wasnt playing with those, I prefered the action packed Ninja Turtles! Oh yeah, Cow-A-Bunga Dudes!

I was super cute and sugar sweet...
I was a good kid, hardly ever got in trouble, and when I did I was super sensitive, a look of disaproval from dad would be enough to discipline me. Man my parents had it good, even through H.S I was good. I did a few things I wont want my kids doing but for the most part not too bad.

Heres where the 1st major change came in my almost adult life. My senior year of H.S. (Go Panthers!) I decided I had had enough of my parents strict and sheltering lifestyle and wanted some freedom... HA! You want to know what I thought would be the right amount of Freedom for me? Well I enlisted in the United States Marine Corps... you can stop looking so shocked, I already warned you of the craziness... Well to make that long story a bit shorter, I didn't go through with it. Let me be very clear on this, I was very proud to be sworn in, I would have been very proud to serve my country as a Marine. But as I said, I was looking for Freedom and when I moved out of my parents' house on Graduation Night, I got a taste of what I was looking for. This is where I came out of my shell a bit. I wont go into the details, you can just use your imagination to make this chapter of my life as interesting as you want. So after some "Living" and my dad insisting, I withdrew myself from the military, a week before leaving for bootcamp. This was not an easy process, and not anything I would reccomend to anyone. I had to write a letter with all my reasons etc... I was told that since they had already "met their quota for women, that they wouldn't throw the book at me". I'll never forget the day I turned in that letter, my Staff Sergeant said theses words to me; "By quiting this, you are setting a prescedent for the rest of your life, you will quit everything you attempt to do." Those words angered me for a long time but I have come to understand what they mean...

So from there my best friend and roomate roped me into enrolling in college, a week before classes started.

Let me insert another big issue in my life here: We will just leave it at
 "Very Bad Relationship With a Very bad Boy"

Ok, on with it... So college ended up being a bad idea... I guess I didnt realize you were required to actually show up for class and watched as my grades declined drastically. So using the excuse that I had decided to change my major (I no longer aspired to be a CSI) I dropped out a week before finals my first year. That didnt help my resolve to prove my staff sergeant's words to me wrong.... ( although I have plans on going back to school this fall)

Is there a limit on how long these blogs can be? You may want to take a pee break here....

This is the Best part: Meeting Dusty!
College did one thing for me, it introduced me to a very awesome fun friend

that to this day I still love talking to. She told me about this boy, this boy that I happened to be working with at Pizza Hut at the time. This cute boy liked Me! Me, can you believe it?

Well because of my recent "Very Bad Relationship" experience, I made a fool of myself...This is how that went down. I asked our mutual friend, the aspiring matchmaker, to take me to this boys house so I could talk to him in person. Thats me, up front and to the point. So I asked him to come outside with me and on his own front porch and said these words to him: "I know that you like me, but I just got out of very bad relationship and don't want anything to do with you." yep, I said just that. I know what your are thinking, "cold hearted B-word" but if you understood just what I had just been through you may understand those words better. A story for another time maybe. Well thank goodness he didn't give up on that crazy girl, we ended up hanging out and flirting on our first non-date and I agreed to go on a real date with him the next night we had off together. As the saying goes : The rest is history!

This is where the changes started in my looks. Somewhere after we were married and before we had our first baby I realized how fun it was to change my hair! I started out dyeing it different colors, then I cut it a little and a little more until it was very short! Then I got my nose peirced, which was fun until I had to take it out for my job at the bank. So I settled on getting Tattoos where I could hide them. All of this to some shock to my friends and family. But not to my husband. Somehow he sees me, knows just who I am even when I don't. And he accepts me for the crazy woman I am.

My outlook on life has changed drastically over the years. Of course in H.S, all that seemed very important and looking back we realize that none of that drama mattered. I grew up thinking that I would get married at 30, kids by 35 and live life happily ever after. As it turned out I found my soul mate (or rather he found me,) and was married at 19 and was ready for a baby by 21. Well God had other plans for us and it took 3 yrs of trying before we had Grant. Who may I add has changed my life so much! I never thought I could love like I love my children. (another blog on this subject later)

Getting Married at 19 was wonderful, but by the time I hit 21 I realized all the dumb fun stuff I had never done before. That was a hard time for Dusty and I, and again I thank the good Lord above that he stuck by me in that time of change. Knowing that Dusty was the man I wanted to grow old with, I made it a priority to grow up and stop worrying about the things I hadn't experienced and embraced my amazing life!

Of course becoming a mom was another major change in life, in fact it changed everything! My perspective on life has completly changed, everything I do, everything I say I wonder how it will affect them someday. Well this is where I close this very lenghty post, I am sure I will be adding to this subject in the posts to come. I hope that at the end of this, you understand me a little more; I hope to understand myself a little more each time I clean out the cobwebs in my head...

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Minivan Mania!

So the Big Issue for Today is: Buying a Minivan.  Uh huh I have gone to the darkside... I want a minivan BAD!! I am so jealous of all the minivan moms out there. Right now we drive a little chevy malibu
Like this one minus the sweet rims...(insert major sarcasm)
 and there is definitely not enough room for my husband, me, our 2 children, our 2 dogs, and anything we might want to travel with at any certain time. (not that the dogs go everywhere with us but Im making a point) Grocery shopping is fun, the trunk is taken up by our huge double stroller and odds and ends u probably find in all trunks. Our back seat is filled up, and of course as most of you car driving moms probably sympathize with, the front seats are up so close, your knees almost touch the dash because of the huge carseats in the back. Our car is packed! We have been talking about taking a vacation... but before we ever do that I am getting a minivan, I am determined. At first we just joked about it, We worked very hard to rid ourselves of debt, no car payment for us! So taking on a monthly payment is not ideal or even possible at this moment. So I thought the dream of soccer-mom-dom was just a dream.... Well then my very smart husband mentioned trading in the car and we looked it up, would you believe it is worth something? (It would probably be worth more if we had those same ballin' rims) The thought of using our car to get another just never entered my mind, but when it did, BAM Obsession takes over! So we started searching last night, and found one, THE ONE (isn't it a beauty)
 4 hrs away from us. We couldn't call bc it was late last night. So of course I couldn't sleep. It was like waiting for Christmas Morning! Finally Dusty was able to get ahold of them this morning...but it was already sold...Im not going to lie, super Bummed. So We are on the hunt.  I have been calling all of the local car lots getting info today and hopefully we will find the time this weekend to drive around and check them out. So if you know of anything around the $5000 and under price range let us know! And just to be clear: Dusty is just as excited as I am, we are throwing sexiness out the door and bringing in the practical!

My First Day Blogging = Cleaning out the closet that is my mind.

Sorry For all the Random blogs, I promise once I get my head cleared out a little, I will start blogging about day to day issuses like a normal person... haha Well as normal as I get anyway. I dont think that is a word I ever hear associated with ME.
So, issues on my mind lately (not in any certain order) :

Weight loss (who isn't thinking about that now adays)
Church or more specifically Religion
My Past
To Stay Home or to Work
How did I get so lucky in life? Will it stay this good?
Neverending Housework
Child Development: Who will our children be?
Going back to school and what to be when I grow up.

Have I lost the few readers i have yet? My Mind is a jungle of googly gook as of late. I wont go thru it all now, I just wanted to get them down before I forget...Im sure I will be adding to that list.

Let me add a disclaimer to my Blog: This goes to everyone reading; I am talking from my heart, from my crazy mind. Some things are thought about but forgotten before they are said. Some things should not be said. Some things do not have a specific audience to be said to. Some of the things I write will be just random thoughts and ideas so I ask please do not take anything I say personally or be offended personally.  


Let's Play Catch up...

First a little about me and my family: My name is Ashley 26 yr old Female lookin for a daily companion, a good listener, an outlet. This is why I am here.
 I am Perfectly Content with Life as I know it, I have an amazing Husband, who is my best friend and rock for sure. I have 2 beautiful children; Grant who just turned 2 yrs old, and Lela who will 5 months old in a few days. Thats where the Busy Momma part comes in! I have been a Stay at Home Mom for just over a year now. There have been ups and downs to staying home, I love every moment I get with my children, but I also miss the daily adult interaction that I took for granted before.


Thanks to FB I have started following a few blogs by some very talented women who have inspired me to put my thoughts on here.
 I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately, through that time I should have been blogging, it would have helped organize my thoughts and feelings better. I am in a constant state of  "finding myself"; something that feels like I should have done in Highschool, or during a mid life crisis. But here I am, figuring out just who this woman in the mirror is.
 I think I am playing catchup with life: as a child I grew up fast and looking back have realized how the past shaped my life today. It is such a relief to know that I have turned out to be an awesome mommy and my husband "says" I am a great wife (so I will just go with that) lol I've never been one to judge others, but I am super self conscience which is something I am trying to be better at. It very much matters to me how others see me, when all I want is for them to see me as one that doesn't.
 So that is where I wonder: who am I? Who do I want to be? All I do know is that being his wife and their mommy has been the best thing I have ever done!
So now you can follow me on the journey of this perfectly content busy momma's life!

I'm Joining the Blogging Mom Gang...

Well I have decided to do it, I hope I don't disappoint I'm not much of a writer but I always have a lot to say and my 2 yr old just doesn't get me sometimes.. ;) So Here goes!